New low: just hacked my moms facebook
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
