So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
