I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
