I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
