they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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