I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
