i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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