In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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