She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he fucked my hip out of place.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
