I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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