Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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