I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
