WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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