Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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