he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
