I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
