Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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