I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
