Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
