And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize