Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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