Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
