get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Mom said you looked used
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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