ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
