I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
