Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
