Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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