She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
