If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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