Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think your dad took our porno
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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