Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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