i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
