i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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