what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
