You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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