Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she looked like the before picture.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
