You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize