I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
