i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
