What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
