we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he fucked my hip out of place.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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