don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
