ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
