My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
