one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
