she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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