smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
