im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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