I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
