True but thats because hes a fetus.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
