i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
