I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
