i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I look better un-naked...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Couch. On fire.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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