nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
