I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry about my life...
I need water and some morals
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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