She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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