Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
