i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
