How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
