I am full of burrito and curiosity
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
