If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
